This piece was lovingly crafted for Ruminations of an Old Soul, released July 7, 2016.
Getting into bed should be a moment of ultimate freedom. The pitch black room should feel peaceful and inviting. Nowhere to be, no more obligations to fill on this day. The mind deserves to be at rest for the next hours. Dreams should take me on an adventure, whether comedic, enjoyable or nonsensical. The mind and soul should be freed of the burdens of the day.
Lately when I climb into bed, exhausted from the day’s work, my mind begins to race. My sense of peace and relaxation dissipate as I toss and turn in an attempt to let go. My mind runs through a million thoughts at once. Reflections on the day and what I could have done to make it a more fulfilling one. Nervous anticipation of challenges forthcoming. Anxiety. Regret. Negativity. Excitement. Tidal waves of emotion crashing down on my soul, one after another.
I feel that I have been living a life of contradiction. An old soul with a need for modern convenience. A being with a good quality of life feeling down and out. Many dark thoughts run through my mind while lying in the pitch black. Yet I still seek the light at the end of the tunnel.
This post is still relevant to my life today. The restlessness and the contradiction still exist.